


Self Abuse

by sksdwrld



Series: Asterisk [22]
Category: Original Work
Genre: M/M, Masturbation, Sexual Fantasy, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Lust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-21
Updated: 2014-04-21
Packaged: 2018-01-20 04:59:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1497547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sksdwrld/pseuds/sksdwrld
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elliot has a crush on the band manager.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Self Abuse

"Elliot! Get your head out of your ass! You break that amp and it's coming out of your paycheck!"

Mere seconds passed before Elliot's entire body flushed hotly and he hefted the equipment before into a better position, cradling it against his chest. He glanced at Jammer as he passed. The corners of Jammer's mouth pulled up in a smirk and Elliot ducked his head again.

Later, when the crew had finished setting the venue up, Elliot was still trotting back and forth, passing out bottles of water. He only had two left when Jammer, who was standing back and appraising the set up, held his hand out. Elliot veered toward him, holding one bottle out. Jammer took it but stopped Elliot from moving on. "Take a break, my man. You worked hard today."

Elliot nodded in acknowledgement and Jammer cracked the cap off of his water, then bumped it in silent toast against the bottle Elliot still clutched. Elliot took the hint and twisted the cap off, chugging half of the bottle in one go. He choked a little when Jammer draped an arm around him amicably but managed to contain himself. Elliot could smell himself despite the layers of deodorant that he'd slathered on, but what's more, he could smell Jammer too, sharp and musky but not entirely unpleasant...

Tensing and glancing askance, Elliot wondered if Jammer could read his thoughts. There was a contemplative look on Jammer's face but he didn't give any indication that he was aware of anything unusual. Elliot stayed silent, waiting for him to say something, but after a minute, Jammer just clapped his shoulder, shook him a bit, and slipped away. Elliot's eyelids fluttered shut and as he brought the bottle back to his mouth, he tried not to think about how much he missed something as rudimentary and simple as that...a casual touch.

After finishing the water, Elliot checked to be sure no one else needed anything and then he went back to the tour bus. He'd barely stepped foot on the tour bus when he heard the jangle of Ruby's collar as she bounded toward him. He reached for her leash, clipped it on, and stumbled back down the steps, Ruby eagerly pulling at the leash in her excitement to get out. Elliot can't blame her: he doesn't like to be cooped up for too long either, but unlike Ruby, Elliot had already spent the afternoon expending most of his pent-up energy.

Unlike some of the other stops, there wasn't a good place to let Ruby run, so when he'd had enough of walking her in circles, he coerced her back toward the tour bus. He fed and watered her, then rinsed as much grime off of himself in the bathroom as he could. In a couple of hours, Elliot was going to work up another sweat breaking down the set, but there was no reason that he had to sit in his own stew until then.

With a sigh, he tumbled into his bunk and pulled the curtain shut. It wasn't likely that anyone else would come on while the band was doing their set, but Elliot didn't want to be disturbed. This was the only time of day that he was truly alone and he liked to use the time to recharge. Sometimes he napped but mostly he let his mind wander over the events of the day, free to explore at will without the trappings of expectation or the pressure or anticipation of interaction. Other times, he meditated, trying to focus his energy into something positive.

After setting his watch, Elliot closed his eyes and wriggled to get comfortable then began to drift. For awhile, Elliot focused on the shapes and patterns that swirled behind his eyelids but soon enough, they began to gather and from the dark soup emerged a haughty smile and a curtain of raven-dark, silken hair. Jammer, then. Elliot's brain conjured a body for Jammer and dressed it in a tight black t-shirt and jeans, along with the leather band that he sometimes wore around his bicep and an amorphous silver necklace that might have been an arrowhead, a feather, or a tooth.

For the first time in a long time, Elliot felt something inside of him flare and it took a moment for him to recognize what it was. Desire. It was somewhat disconcerting and slightly amusing, but mostly Elliot was just happy to be alone and not standing next to Jammer when it happened. Elliot had had a crush on Jammer since he'd first come across him on the forum. At first, Elliot had been smitten with the way Jammer spun words into raw emotions; he had a way of lifting Elliot up and up to dizzying heights before sending him plummeting back to earth, and then when Elliot was dashed on the ground, breaking apart and spilling over, gathering him together again just enough that he could hobble away. Then, Elliot had been taken with the romantic notion of Jammer as a poet; one to commander the moon and the stars and the hearts of those who would listen to him bleed. They'd had that falling out, of course, and Elliot had let himself be wounded by that for sometime, convinced that Jammer was deserving only of Elliot's adoration and nothing else. Some days though, Elliot thought that Jammer was pushing him away with deliberate cruelty, Elliot's affection for him an unwanted strain on whatever friendly relationship they might have otherwise cultivated.

Of course by pushing Elliot away, it only made him want Jammer more, and now, thinking back on that afternoon's rebuke, Elliot flushed all over again. The humiliation was still there, of course, but this time, he lingered on the way Jammer had smiled afterwards, and it made him wonder if the poet didn't know exactly what he was doing.

Daniel used to toy with Elliot like that; debase him and entice him all the while, until Elliot was hot with embarrassment and need and the two bled together. Elliot's brain substituted Jammer for Daniel and he could almost feel the silken tresses spilling over his shoulder as Jammer leaned from behind to whisper in his ear. This time, the words didn't matter as much as the hot breath that tickled him. Elliot pressed his hand to his chest, pretending that it was Jammer's, then slid it up to his throat, stroking softly because Jammer didn't seem like the kind of guy who'd choke off his air supply, even if he asked for it.

No, Jammer was the kind of guy who would tease Elliot's nipples and press a thousand kisses into his neck and rub his dick through his pants until Elliot was whimpering and begging for more. Jammer was the kind of guy who would take forever to undress him, whispering platitudes or prose, but it wouldn't matter which because both would set Elliot's skin on fire with each brush of his lips. In passing, he would suck Elliot from root to tip, but only the once because he was the sort of man without priorities.

The fire was lit within Jammer, not beneath him, and he would want to kiss Elliot like he could make his soul come alive, and maybe, just maybe, he could. Jammer would let Elliot take handfuls of his hair and spread it around them and he would want Elliot's hands to roam over the expanse of his back as they rolled their hips together. It would be slow and mindless because Jammer was exactly the sort of man who would make love for hours on end, swallowing each of Elliot's gasps and giving his own in return.

But Jammer's ego was large enough that he would keep Elliot teetering on the edge of oblivion until he begged for release. _Jammer, Jammer, please_...and because he could, he would keep on gently stroking until Elliot fell apart at the seams and coming would be like the tide rolling in and breaking on the jetty. _Yes, yes, Jammer!_

Elliot bit his lip and pulled the stuffed platypus (that Lucia had sent him, but God, don't think about that now!) over his face, panting out the last of his breaths as he made a mess of his clothes. He lay there, boneless and brainless until Ruby poked her head in and he had to shove her away before she got in and -Christ. He fumbled for the babywipes that he kept stashed in the corner and mopped himself up the best he could.

For all that he'd lusted after Jammer, Elliot had never done _that_...He tumbled out of his bunk and dug through his things for a clean shirt. There was already a patchy blush on his neck and torso and it burned hotter at the mere thought of looking Jammer in the eyes now. Jammer could see right into Elliot's soul, and he would know that Elliot had misappropriated his image for his own pleasure. Never again. Elliot could look at the band manager never again.


End file.
